Comments on: WTFWJCVDD – Edition Twenty-Two http://yourbias.com/2009/06/01/wtfwjcvdd-%e2%80%93-edition-twenty-two-latest/ What The Fuck Would Jean Claude Van Damme Do? Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:30:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Johnnybegood http://yourbias.com/2009/06/01/wtfwjcvdd-%e2%80%93-edition-twenty-two-latest/#comment-42 Tue, 02 Jun 2009 01:45:31 +0000 http://yourbias.com/?p=569#comment-42 Hello,
Love the site; love the stories, love sex and basketball.
First and foremost I would like to admit that I have a problem. I have a girlfriend who I love very dearly and she feels the same way about me. However, we have very different schedules’ and thus I get completely ass drunk every weekend and drive around like a hooligan after a Manchester United game looking for drugs, alcohol, and sadly more pussy. Sometimes I nock mirrors off of parked cars and laugh, other times I straight up crash into parked cars back up and drive away.
My girlfriend works as a bartender and most night’s she’s working late so instead of sitting there and waiting for her I just go fucking nuts.
An interesting development, last weekend my girlfriend was working the night shift at buffalo wild wings, so one of my coworkers and I decided to get fucking hammered. I work out in Naperville and its ways away from the city so we start drinking at 8pm on Friday at some local watering hole. The night starts out gutsy as immediately as we get to the bar three fat chics attack us by the bar. My coworker is nice and plays it off coolly just sipping his beer. However, after an hour of this nonsense, 8 Jamison shots, 3 shmiticks, I’m starting to feel the power of alcohol. I got up and picked up my beer and poured it all over one of the fat chics, and when I say fat I mean 5’5 250 round puffy face, round puffy stomach, no neck, and just a disgusting apparition of what a woman should look like. We immediately get kicked out of our first bar.
Instead of taking the metra to the city, we take my car, the ride on 94 is fantastic I am weaving in and out of traffic like Jeff Gordon; you know what I could probably drive better than Jeff Gordon at that point. I think my reflexes get better with more alcohol.
We get to the city as we are starting to sober up and we go to our next bar “rocket” there we meet up with two chics who are kinda cute. I immediately down two Jamison’s and two guinesses the chics wanna go so now after a total of 10 shots of jamo and 5 beers I decide to pay the $150 bar tab because at this point even though I make 30k I year I feel much cooler than I am. We go to the next bar, note: we walk there my car is in a garage, I don’t remember the name of the bar because I am so hammered at this point.
We get downstairs and there’s no one there I immediately light up a cigarette and start smoking inside, I tell my coworker its fine I know the manager, 10 minutes later I’m 15 shots deep and 12 beers deep. My girlfriend calls me, I don’t pick up.
We go to the next bar, it’s called mothers I believe on division, I fall down the stairs on the way down to the lower level. I have another two shots of Jamison and three beers. I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing I tell my buddy I’m leaving. My girlfriend texts me I don’t respond. I am stumbling around and some fat chic grabs my ass I turn around and make out with her.
She takes me back to her place and blows me I don’t know what’s happening. I run back to mothers have another 5 shots of jamo to forget.

I take out the stub of where I parked my car give it to the cabby and he takes me there. I stumble out of the car and somehow manage to get my car out of the garage. I am driving I don’t know where I blink BAM I hit a parked car and my car isn’t moving. I get out walk a block get in a cab and wake up in my bed the next morning.

I have a problem, I have a drinking problem.

]]> By: Donna Blohme http://yourbias.com/2009/06/01/wtfwjcvdd-%e2%80%93-edition-twenty-two-latest/#comment-41 Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:40:03 +0000 http://yourbias.com/?p=569#comment-41 I get there early so I can use the glory hole in the bathroom.

]]> By: Davis http://yourbias.com/2009/06/01/wtfwjcvdd-%e2%80%93-edition-twenty-two-latest/#comment-40 Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:01:43 +0000 http://yourbias.com/?p=569#comment-40 only time I’m ever late arriving at my destination, it’s always the airline’s fault

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