WTFWJCVDD – Edition Twenty-One

Search for the Goods

I have been in need of product for some time, and could not seem to find any. So I started searching for a new dealer, but it’s very hard to trust a stranger from the start. I subtly asked around, but none of my friends knew of someone reliable with some good shit. Like the answer to everything else today, I turned to the Internet. It seems like a foolish idea, but it worked out successfully for my escorts so I figured I’d give it a shot. I didn’t expect to find anything, but after five minutes of searching I found a list of suppliers on Craigslist. Everyone was trying to find buyers on there so I read through a bunch of encrypted posts, sent replies to a few solid ads and waited. Within minutes my inbox was full and I knew soon my appetite for a fix would be too.

I emailed back and forth with this guy, we’ll call him Rondel S., or R. Smith. I asked him some pertinent questions to see if he knew his shit and I finally decided he’d be the one. We agreed to meet at a gas station half way between us for the exchange. With a C-note in my pocket, I drove there with the top down enjoying the beautiful sunny day.

When I got to the gas station, I pulled into the back and called Rondel to tell him I was there. He said he was running ten minutes late and I wondered if this was going to be legit or not. In my head I had rationalized that if he were a cop, his post, this meeting and the exchange would all be entrapment and I’d be off the hook. Even still, I didn’t want to deal with that possibility and I was anxious.

Finally I got a call back and Rondel said he had just pulled in and wanted to know where I was. I said look for the red Ferrari Maranello in the back. He pulled up next to me in his gold 1990 VW Jetta. We get out and I walked up to him, a spiked hair Russian cluberesque type with designer clothes, expensive shoes and so much bling I had to divert my eyes from the glare (maybe he does well with this after all). I pull the hundo out of my pocket and he trades me for the goods. We shake hands and part ways, both with a smile on our face – his definitely a little creepier than mine. I get in my car, watch him drive off and open the case with my score – a burned DVD loaded with three thousand dollars worth of software. Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta …

Until the next Kumate…

For your consideration:
If I’m a motherlover, and you’re a motherlover, should we fuck each other’s mother?

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You’re currently reading “WTFWJCVDD – Edition Twenty-One,” an entry on YourBias.com presents WTFWJCVDD

Published:: May 18, 2009 / 7:01 AM

Category:: WTFWJCVDD

Tags:: wtf, jean claude van damme, humor, funny, sackless, bloodsport, men, boobies, dealer, cop, internet, craigslist, gas station, c-note, russian, email, ferrari, VW, hundo, bling, gangsta

About

What the fuck is WTFWJCVDD? In its most basic form, it’s a spin off from an old traditional rant that used to be the joy of many people’s week despite being sent out inconsistently. Its overall purpose is to provide a break from the monotony or sameness that occurs is our every day lives. For those of you struggling in life, we hope this editorial brings you hope. For those of you that feel jubilant every day just to be alive, stop spitting it in our fucking faces (we’re the ones that give the money shots).

Who is responsible for this new e-zine? WTFWJCVDD is brought to you by WulfPak Productions. Who are the writers that are a part of WulfPak Productions? The writers of this e-zine wish to have anonymity – they arbitrarily chose this name.

Donna Blohme 5.18.09 / 12pm

BOOOOO! You have some serious explaining to do as to why this edition was a DOOZIE. I should arrest your ass just for writing it.

MacMark 5.19.09 / 7pm

It’s 10pm right now and I’m still at work, I hate my job. I have been sitting in my chair so long that the area between my nut sack on my legs is starting to chafe and my skin is getting irritated. In addition, my ass has been sweating all day and that doesn’t feel very nice either.

I am one of those guys that hate everything. I can’t stand women because they are either too dumb or too smart. If they don’t like me they are just too dumb to understand what I would do to them. If however they do like me they’re morons as well because they are too smart to understand what I would do to them. Yes it’s a contradicting statement but think about it, use your imagination, and make your own conclusions.

I cant stand TV anymore, i’ve noticed that they play CNBC pretty much anywhere you go to these days. Financial news, financial news, financial news, jesus fucking christ theres no good news like bad news, this new business news fad we are going through wont last and once they find something else much more negative to report on we’ll forget about our economy.

Which brings me to my next point – i dont know if you guys are aware but the US economy has already failed us. when one says “too big to fail” one is already nationalizing our nations biggest coporations. In a sense your implying that you wont let them fail. In addition to the socialism we are going through right now, we have just pumped in 4 trillion dollars into our economy and abroad. Hyper inflation is not an idea, it will be a reality within the next 36 months. If you have a 401k i would take your money out right now and buy commodities, although i dont even know if those will be safe.

As if the economy and all the bullshit in life wasn’t enough including my 90 hr a week job that fucking sucks donkey balls, we have terrorists that are fighting a war in Pakistan which has a stockpile of nuclear warheads. If for example these guys get their hands on these, you can kiss your kids goodnight take some valium and wait for the end.

We have viruses mutating everyday and at any given moment scientists predict there will be a global wide pandemic; you think swine flu is bad, go Wikipedia the common flue – it used to kill everyone it infected.

It’s the end of the world and we know it, I feel fine.

Kumate

Roger 5.21.09 / 2pm

Hey Mac,

You sound like a dickhead and maybe you don’t know how to use your dick, that’s why you don’t like chics and they don’t like you.

First of all, how can you not like chics, you don’t have to talk them man, I feel your pain they’re dumb; however, they are needed in this world and the next. In addition, to procreation it’s really nice to stick it in every now and then.

Hate is such a powerful word, I take it you’re depressed, unsure of what to do with your life and you’re taking it out on a blog you fucking dickhead.

It’s not the end of the world that you can’t or won’t or don’t have time to fuck, so don’t make it sound like it is.

The economy – the economy is not going to fail, and neither is America. We’ve made it through the revolutionary war, the civil war, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, the great depression and many others and everyone is still alive and kicking. There are still people on Wall Street making 100k bonuses, believe me, I work on wall st.

If you don’t like TV, then don’t fucking watch it, tune it out, it’s really not a big deal man you just gotta relax.

I wouldn’t worry about nukes man, if they get them, you won’t feel a thing when it drops on Chicago, why don’t you concentrate on other things, like pussy.

Viruses – are you an idiot?

I take it from your long work week, and your negative outlook on life, you’re probably an investment banker that didn’t get a 100k bonus this year. In addition, you don’t have time to use your dick, so now you hate everyone and everything.

My advice – use your dick, its nice, god gave it to you for a reason, stop hating yourself and women, again use your dick and all your problems will be solved. Ya dumb fuck

Roger

YourBias.com presents WTFWJCVDD

WTFWJCVDD – Edition Twenty-One

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