WTFWJCVDD – Edition Thirteen

The Path (Once) Less Traveled

The concept of marriage has transformed in the last few decades. Previously it was a contract that bound two people that loved each other “til death do you part” but with the increase in divorce rates, the odds of remaining married are about as good as beating Tyler Durden in the cellar of your local fight club.

Last week I was out of town for work and I stayed with a friend that is in the process of getting divorced. The strange part was the fact that he and his wife were still living together in the same house, sharing the same bed. They were surprisingly civil with one another and if a visitor didn’t know any better, their relationship would seem perfectly healthy. The problem was that within two minutes of meeting my friend’s soon to be ex – wife, she expressed to me that they were getting divorced. It was very abrupt, like the last case of diarrhea I had. Since that was not a positive correlation, you could imagine my discomfort.

Being that I was there for two days, and it was just the three of us, I had a lot of time to directly assess the psychological process of divorce in a best-case scenario. It made me realize how lucky I am not to be tied down in a relationship, let alone married – good lord.

Relationships and marriage have a lot of benefits, but they drain you of your individuality, the essence of who you are. It’s like taking two pieces of clay and molding them to fit together. While there are some gains, there are certainly losses as well. And when the house of cards comes falling down, you can lose it all, especially being the breadwinner with alimony and child support. Just the thought of all that aggravation and regression is an insult to one’s ambition and hard work.

The path less traveled has become the path to travel when times get tough. It makes me wonder if all those couples that remained married before the divorce rate sky rocketed were truly happy or maybe they were just scared by the taboo of divorce and stayed in unhealthy, unpleasant marriages because they were supposed to. Maybe the boredom of sex with one person became too challenging once couples acknowledged their sexuality and bought a king sized bed after the days of “I Love Lucy” when Ricky and Lucy slept in separate twin beds. Or could it be that the desire for instant gratification with younger generations is deepening the wedge between couples, eliminating their willingness to work through their problems.

Whatever the answer may be, I’m glad that I am as aware of the direction my life may take if I got married. If someday a woman cloaked in pleasantries and providing all the kinky sex I could want convinced me to marry her, I’d certainly make her sign a prenup. That way when things go south (or stop going south), I can make a clean break. If I ever do get divorced though, I would not get remarried. I’ll just be that suave, classy older guy picking up the youngest legal chicks I can. Some may find that creepy – like that whore of an ex-wife of mine, but I know I’ll be left smiling in the end.

Until the next Kumate…

For your consideration:
Why is it called a blowjob?