WTFWJCVDD – Edition Six, Boobie Series – Part One

There’s a club I like to go to called The Spicy Pickle. Some friends and I were there last weekend and the crowd was plentiful with mature, beautiful 17 year old broads. I was sipping my Zima on ice when I met eyes with a curvaceous figure across the room. She had long flowing brown hair, penetrating eyes, thick luscious lips, and most importantly a bus pass so if things got serious I wouldn’t have to start driving her to school in the mornings. As our eye contact turned into a stare, she gave a little giggle and made her way over to me. Without saying a word she grabbed me and we went for the dance floor. Things heated up and eventually my hard on was calling for some progress. We went back to her parent’s place and had a night of wild monkey dancing.

The next morning on my way home a gigantic smile came across my face. While every guy feels a sense of accomplishment after a conquest, I was especially satisfied because Bobby Jenner from 3rd period had been trying to get on her for months and I sealed the deal in one night. Also, she had ridiculously large jugs.

Historically large round women were considered sexy, partially due to their large breasts. Need some proof, spend some time in an art museum and look at the female figures of a 17th century painting, like a Rembrandt. Over time, thinner more petite women have become desirable (thank god) but one thing remains consistent, the desire for nice large tits. There’s a reason women get breast implants and why they get the attention they do. While women can be annoying and are potentially bred from Satan, they still know what makes a man weak in the knees. Even the most sturdy and confident of men regress to their primitive ways when they get a glimpse of some boobies. It’s like the tunnel vision you get when you have to take a stomach splitting doodie, all your cares and worries melt away while you focus on the prize.

Women have this power over men and I believe it derives from their breasts. If I were to call Big Boobs MaGee from the other night, I would get what I wanted (to play with those fun bags again) but she would possess a power over me with her melon trance and certainly strip me of my ability to logically reason. The beauty of the struggle with men and their love of boobs is that there are so many women with nice large knockers. The key is to maintain discipline and keep the serving of each titty dish to a minimum. That way their persuasive force is limited and we can get out unscathed with our dignity in tact.

Being that this is such a crucial issue for men to be aware of, we will continue to keep you all informed with the most up to date research, new strategies and stories to keep you from getting blind sided by a set of hoohas. There are few things worse than waking up one morning and realizing that you’re trapped in a miserable marriage with a woman who captured you with her hooter spell. Hang in there …

Until the next Kumate …

For your consideration:
If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?