WTFWJCVDD – Edition Four

In high school, popularity was a quintessential desire of many. Hi-fiving buddies in the hall, getting invited to all the parties, hooking up with hot chicks under the stair well (oh that Veronica Vaughn), everyone knowing who you are – pretty much sums up a successful high school experience. Forget the books, the classes, the teachers; being known and known well for your role was what really mattered. It even culminated during senior year with yearbook awards in which peers voted for the student that was most likely to become a famous artist, most likely to become president or most likely to be drafted to the NFL.

After some digging into the past, we at WTFWJCVDD found the following actual yearbook awards and decided to share them with you – despite the multiple lawsuits accusing us of liable.

Most sought after passenger during a transatlantic plane crash …
Dolly Parton

Most likely to have a bad break up…
OJ Simpson

Most likely to acquire an itch deep in their throat …
Linda Lovelace

Most likely to sweep a woman off her feet with his fame, fortune and cult …
Tom Cruise

Least likely to get trapped in a marriage…
Harry Houdini

Most likely to become a janitor, keeping those bathrooms squeaky clean …
Senator Larry Craig, our mistake, he should have been voted most likely to GET his knob polished in the bathroom.

Least likely to be camera shy when the red light is on …
Paris Hilton

Most likely to struggle as an artist and take it out on the world …
Adolf Hitler

Least likely to be called “Baby Dick” …
Ron Jeremy

Most likely to be on Dateline’s “TO CATCH A PREDATOR” …
Michael Jackson

Most likely to pose for a photo …
Princess Diana

While in high school the range of perspective is limited and these labels carry a meaning that will follow the recipient for years. The ironic thing is that many times the role given in high school is anything but the direction followed in the years to come. The class president becomes the CEO of a farce company, the band geek becomes a porn star and creates moneyshots.com (God bless you Melvin), or the class slut becomes a nun (that Teresa rubbed the skin right off my dick one time). While all these surprises make for an interesting high school reunion, forget what everyone else thinks and do what will make you happiest – it’s ok to do gay porn, the pay is better anyway – so I hear…

Until the next Kumate…

For your consideration:
Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?