WTFWJCVDD – Edition Three

A couple of weeks ago I decided to have a nice little night out with my girlfriend. We have been dating for about a year and a half and I felt like going out for a good dinner. I took her to a charming Italian place and we had a great meal along with some drinks. We took the time to appreciate each others company and had a pleasant conversation. We finished dinner around 10:00PM and decided just to head home.

She came back to my place and we played a friendly game of smear the queer and then got into bed. I was tired so I turned over, farted, and closed my eyes. Soon after, I felt her hand caress my crack in a playful manner. Despite being tired, immediately I knew – it was time to dooze it. My dick went from 6 to noon real quick and I rolled over on top of her and started to force my way in. She stopped me and asked me to take it slow for once – apparently she wanted to make a night of it. She said she wanted me to play with her and instructed me to tease her a little. So I said, “ok fatty.” Before I knew it, she threw a back hand that connected to my right temple. I was flung backwards holding my aching head.

“What is your problem?!” I demanded.

“You just don’t get it, do you? Well, you’re not gonna get it until you get it, get it?”

No, actually I did not get it. What the hell was she talking about? Why the hell did I have to guess what I did wrong?

It’s clear from my experiences that men and women are two different species. If it were one of my buddies, the smack to the temple would have settled the score. But in this case, not only could I not swing back, but I was still in the dog house – uuuunnrrrrreal.

I ended up going into the living room and watching TV. There was a late night replay of a UFC fight on and I almost felt like our altercation was meant to be. After watching the fight for 15 minutes or so, she ended up coming out of the bedroom and defenselessly sat down next to me. Immediately I threw my hands up to guard my face. She laughed and snuggled up to me. I sat there watching the fight wondering how we went from calm to fighting to calm within 30 minutes.

As I started to strongly contemplate our bond and thought about getting out of this volatile relationship — wait what’s that? I looked down and sure enough she had my cock right in her mouth. Quick! Focus! Before I slipped away too deep I fought desperately with my mind to remember what it was that I was contemplating. All of the sudden there was a polite “tooooooooot” in a high pitch and the odor of skunk cabbage followed. She was grinning, I was done, and trapped once again.

Until the next Kumate…

For your consideration:
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?